


White Blank Page

by Septembre_Rain (Zyrielle)



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Self-Indulgent, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-12
Updated: 2019-06-12
Packaged: 2020-05-02 04:34:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19191928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zyrielle/pseuds/Septembre_Rain
Summary: A Songfic: White Blank Page by Mumford and SonsInspired by Notavodkashot's "beneath the sheets of paper lies my truth"A story about Cor and Aulea.





	White Blank Page

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [beneath the sheets of paper lies my truth](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14079450) by [notavodkashot](https://archiveofourown.org/users/notavodkashot/pseuds/notavodkashot). 



> A Songfic: White Blank Page by Mumford and Sons
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xlE3rpRkPc8

 

 

 

White Blank Page

[Mumford & Sons](https://www.google.com.ph/search?client=safari&channel=iphone_bm&q=Mumford+and+Sons&stick=H4sIAAAAAAAAAONgVuLSz9U3MKmqKjY2WsQq4Fuam5ZflKKQmJeiEJyfVwwAoWAp4SEAAAA&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjQhIvMneHhAhVDf30KHTXaCrYQMTAAegQIDhAF)

 

 

 

 

 

 

**_Can you lie next to her_ **

**_And give her your heart, your heart_ **

**_As well as your body_ **

****

He never meant to fall, but at the same time he had no choice in the matter, like with most things. 

 

He was a tool for the King. Over and over again he used himself to destroy his enemies. Over and over again he broke himself. And she was always there to fix him, put him back together without fail. Sometimes she asked questions but more often she didn't, keeping her lips bitten in silent anger as she worked. Sometimes she would hurt him some more before fixing him. But she did it because she cared and it was for his sake, so it was okay.

 

She would always be first and foremost, his first friend. It was how it all started. How she became much more, he didn't know, he didn't notice. Theirs became a bond thicker blood, nameless but real.

 

**_And can you lie next to her_ **

**_And confess your love, your love_ **

**_As well as your folly_ **

 

After some time they realized with all the blood spilt between their fingers, just how fucked up their roles were and how they were reshaping the world with their actions. It took countless falls, and pulling each other out of their own darkness, the pit of mutual self-loathing and guilt for them to realize that they would miss each other if the other died, just how much they needed each other.

 

They didn't talk about it. They weren't even sure what it was. Both were too innocent to acknowledge or even give it a label. But it was there, they knew. They knew in the way they looked at each other, relieved that the other was not dead. It was in the way her fingers went over his broken body, making sure he didn't cross over and the way their shoulders fell together when either of them collapsed from their injuries or exhaustion.

 

It would never be spoken about or defined. This was a time of war after all. With him being who he was, and her being who she was, it would be nothing but a complication and a hindrance. 

 

_**And can you kneel before the king** _

_**And say I'm clean, I'm clean** _

__

He was also sworn first and foremost to his king. His loyalty was stronger than love. Later he would promise everything that he was to prince Regis, his future king, and later still, her betrothed. 

 

He would never tell. Neither would she. It wasn't even a choice. When their union was announced he left the city with no intention to return alive.

 

 

_**Tell me now, where was my fault** _

_**In loving you with my whole heart** _

_**Oh tell me now, where was my fault** _

_**In loving you with my whole heart** _

__

It tore at him. But it wasn't pain, not if he didn't acknowledge it. Not if he didn't face what it was. He couldn't be forced to label this affliction or face its existence. He felt it but would not give name. 

 

Instead he fought himself ragged, didn't stop until he bled enough and he was purple with bruises, just so he could feel something else. 

 

 

_**A white blank page and a swelling rage, rage** _

_**You did not think when you sent me to the brink, to the brink** _

__

 

They called him back, the King who owned his life and the future queen who owned his soul.

 

He was different when he returned, so was she. 

 

Regis was happy, or forced himself to be. Regis was like that, always finding the silver lining. He simply refused to be beaten by his circumstances. It was one of the things that would make him a great ruler.

 

Regis had accepted the hand dealt to him and play it the best way he could. And so he made himself grow to like her. Cor could see it, but he could not digest it. How could he when all this time Regis was the very air be breathed and she was the sun that shone bright in his eyes.

 

Regis locked away his true feelings a long time ago, and Cor never revealed his.

 

_**You desired my attention but denied my affections, my affections** _

__

 

In the last few days before the wedding she sought him out. She needed a true friend she said, one that truly understood her. She was an outsider and he knew that feeling that all too well.

 

It wasn't fair. She had Regis, and Regis had her, but she also had him.

 

In the last of their quiet moments together she let it slip. How she'd begged for death, when the engagement was announced and it felt like a noose around her neck. But then Cor had left, and she had no one but Regis.

 

And because Regis, imperfect as he was, was one of the truly good men left in the world and was everything that they were not and fought for an idealistic future they all wanted but seemed so far out of reach, because the alternative was surrender, she let him in. And because Regis was Regis, she could not help but want to be better for him. She gave in but wanted to hate him for it. Oh how she wished she could hate him for it.

 

Cor understood, because he loved Regis just as fiercely, if only in a different way than she did.

 

She also said how much she wanted to hate Cor. How much easier things would be if she could just hate him. But that was impossible and she would sooner stop breathing before that became true.

 

He clenched his teeth and bit his tongue until it bled to distract himself. He forced himself to pretend that the embers didn't still burn beneath, buried under layers and layers of loyalty and sworn oaths and promises. He convinced himself that this was just responsibility and duty, nothing more. 

 

Maybe if he did it well enough to fool her then he'd start believing it too. 

 

 

_**Tell me now, where was my fault** _

_**In loving you with my whole heart** _

_**Oh tell me now, where was my fault** _

_**In loving you with my whole heart** _

 

Through her pain, through her happiness, he swore he would never abandon her, even if it tore him to pieces. He would hold her hand until he couldn't anymore.

 

He'd sworn it. In the years that she was not yet claimed, when they were still innocent, back when he thought this was just friendship and loyalty, he'd sworn.

 

Even if she did not ask for it, the promise was there. She should not be asking for him, but here she was, doing exactly just that. She never was good at caring for others' feelings and Cor was an expert at ignoring his. So when she called, he still came.

 

_**Lead me to the truth and I will follow you with my whole life** _

__

When he walked her down the aisle, he wondered why he couldn't feel her as she took his arm. He remembered them being so warm and soft, from all those years ago. 

 

_**Lead me to the truth and I will follow you with my whole life** _

 

She still shone brighter than the sun in his eyes, but the world was devoid of color.

 

But Regis was smiling, and so was she.

 

Clarus cried as the ceremony ended, so did he. He hid his face behind the crook of his arm and tried to smile for her sake, for Regis' sake. 

 

His feelings came out as broken laughs, because that was all he could show. 

 

He wanted her to be happy, for Regis to be happy. He truly and honestly did.

 

He also hoped. Oh how he desperatelyhoped to the gods above that one day the sun would stop blinding him and that breathing would no longer hurt.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry. I wrote this as I was crying after reading notavodkashot's work. She's amazing.  
> I was also crying because the live version of White Blank Page is tear worthy.


End file.
